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good times   
01:18am 27/09/2003
 
mood: tired
music: Trapt- echo
Dorain and I are wax buddies.

Dorian took some interesting pictures of me on her bed.Its not as bad as it sounds but its still pretty bad.

Went to Hot Topic and got Nayeli a Thursday T-shirt for her brithday that was it August.

Went to develope "interesting pictures"

Got some subway, yum, and picked up Nayeli.

Went down Mooney and listened to kick ass music.

Saw a car with a guy driving that looked like Daniel, almost peed my pants

And now I'm home.Yay.

Later.

-:¦:- Quote of the day -:¦:-

-:¦:- I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the ones you could care less about just never go away -:¦:-		  
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rollerblading   
09:20pm 22/09/2003
 
mood: energetic
music: I don't wanna grow up- simple plan
Today me and Dorian went rollerblading. Loads of fun.
I must have almost peed my pants like 5 times.
I seen Kevin!!!
WOO HOO!!!
lol.
Goodness i love that boy.
Nothin knew with him, he still wants me to give him head, you know the usal.
Yea we had oine hell of a work out.
Yea i was trying to act like a hardd ass so instead i ate shit and fell on my ass.
It was great.
Dorian asked me if i could move my legs.
HAHA she had no breaks.

I'm out.

*Quote of the day*
Its hurts when you fall on your ass when your trying to act like a "hard ass" and trying to show off. For once be a pussy and swallow your pride, your ass will thank you later.

SOMEDAY
You were so blind to let me go
You had it all but did not know
No one you'll find will ever be
Closer to all your dreams than me
Believing the grass would be greener
You told yourself, "I just don't need her now"
But I know you'll soon discover
You're never satisfied with any other

Someday
One you gave away
Will be the only one you're wishing for
Someday
Boy, you're gonna pay
'Cause, baby,
I'm the one who's keeping score

You'll change your mind and call my name
Soon as you find they're all the same
But, when you find yourself alone
Don't come back crying; you should have known
Believe me, I'm not pretending
It's not hard to predict this ending now
'Cause I know you'll soon discover
You're needing me in spite of all the others

Maybe, now, you just can't conceive
That there'll ever come a time when you're cold and lonely
Baby, how could you ever believe
That another could replace me, the one and only?
But, when you're down in your time of need
And you're thinking how you might be coming back to own me
Just think again, 'cause I won't need your love anymore!		  
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Fresno   
07:59pm 17/09/2003
 
mood: bouncy
Wow. I love Fresno.

Friday night- Started out gay but 6 shots of sky blue vodka and 10 beers later everything is pretty tight!!! I was so fucked up. I was laying on a couch and i spilt water on me. Thats such a kick in the balls when your trying to plass out. ME and Erin were on the couch and she was all "I'm goona get laid" and i was all "I'm so fucked up" then we went to the bathroom and she wasn't wearing any underwear and when she stood up she was all "its dripping" LOL. Then 20 minutes later i threw up.

Saturday- no hang over but Erin was soo fucked up. We went out again but this time i only had 4 shots and 4 beer. Beer chasers are great. ANd then we went to Denny's and like Kevin almost ate shit.

Sunday- hung out and bought Erin stuff for her birthday.

Monday- Hung out with josh all day and night. I really like him. Hes a hottie. We also played arms and i lost because i pussied out.

Tuesday- went home. I htink megan doesn't want me to come back up tomorrow but i wont be staying with her so yea lick my ass cunt.

g2g. Later		  
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The Ugliness   
01:53am 12/09/2003
 
mood: morose
music: Sober- tool
Tonight as i washed my face and looked into the mirror a feeling came over me, i can't explain it but it was a sense of surprise because as i looked at the image that should have been of me there was someone else there, a girl, an ugly girl, a girl that no idea who she is now, which person was her and which person was an illusion, was she still the same fun loving outgoing girl that would do anything for a laugh that was seen by all of her friends, or was she the quite secretive person that was actually quite calm and not outspoken that Daniel seen??? Which one was she??? Did it matter anymore??? Shes not that other person anymore not the Daniel person, so does she keep putting on the illusion or does she finally live her life as she did before??? And yet despite the two different people there was still the ugliness staring back at me, the ugliness that consumes her, the ugliness that follows her and is always at her heels haunting her shadow and confronting her at every turn, the ugliness that was gone for awhile when someone could see past it and into the hidden beauty that was there under it all, but now its back, almost taunting her, poking fun at her for believing the ugliness was gone and now true beauty could be seen, and not only taunting but taring apart what beauty was left and hiding it deeper so no one will ever see it again. Oh the ugliness has won once again.		  
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Confused   
03:26pm 11/09/2003
 
mood: confused
music: Everything- Stero Fuse
hmmmm, its been a few days so yea lets start from there.

TUESDAY-Me and Dorian were supposed to go walking at like 8 in the morning, well for all those that know me yea that didn't happen, so we took a walk at 7 at night for like an hour. woo hoo. we didn't walk on the horsey trail though, bummer. My boobies are getting smaller. YAY!!!

YESTERDAY-layed around on my lazy ass, went to work at Redwood, my girls are soo cool. Then Missy called and wanted me and her and Jennifer to go somewhere with her so we went to Eugene's house. Not good. Stupid horn dog. But whipped cream is fun!!!

TODAY- I called Roz and she told me that my mother called her last night asking Roz if she should tell me about a phone call she answered for me while i was gone. Apparently the person asked if i was there, where was i, who was i with, why was i going to Fresno this weekend, and if i was going to the fair. Then my asked for a name and theyu were all i'll just call back next week. Roz told me that my mom thought it was Daniel but i don't think so. Daniel wouldn't do that. My mom lies to and she said the number came up data error. Well i checked the phoine history and there was no data error so yea.

G2G. i'm out like a fat kid playing dodge ball.

*«Quote of the day»*
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Everything

I remember you
do you remember me too
but on the 14th of July
the smell of roses made her cry
though your going far from home
rest assured your not alone

Cause I would give everything that I own
I'd give you my heart and this skin and these bones
the sun the moon the Earth the sky
I've never even stopped to wonder why
I would do anything
and I would give everything
to be your everything

Seems like such a long long time
since your body crossed my mind
but I think that you should know
it wasn't I who had to go

Cause I would give everything that I own
I'd give you my love and this heart made of stone
the sun the moon the Earth the sky
the motorcycle that I like to ride
I would do anything
and I would give everything
to be your everything

But if ever you should stray
just sing along and I will play
or look into your hands
I'm slipping through them like a tiny grain of sand

I remember you
do you remember me too
seems like such a long long time
since I held you near and called you mine

Cause I would give everything that I own
I'd give you my heart and this skin and these bones
the sun the moon the Earth the sky
a brand new car that you and I could drive
I would do anything
and I would give everything
to be your everything		  
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Yea   
09:14pm 08/09/2003
 
mood: blah
music: Punk Rawk Show- MxPx
Umm new LiveJournal thingy, hopefully this will work cuz the other was a piece donkey diaraha. Well no hang over from the other night, good deal. Um haven't talked to Daniel but yea its all gravey baby. Um going to COS in stead of Oregon State. Um not much to say right now. Me and my Boob Buddy Dorian took some interesting pictures at Dennys. Good times. yea I'm out.

*«Quote of the day»*
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

Unwell
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away		  
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